Originally posted: 12 November 2005
I completed New OT8 in February 1990 after being in Scientology since 1973. During that period I was mainly "public" but did several years as a staff member in Paris Org as Qual Sec. I trained up to be a C/S, FPRD and Confessional auditor and solo auditor. I was a Scientology celebrity as an international fine artist, creating beautiful paintings of "visualized" music. Many Scientologists (thousands) knew me personally from my art tours of orgs and missions in the early 1980s.
Though you may read about how and why I actually left Scientology on the internet (you would probably have to use a non-Scientologist's computer, however) and see the data at http://www.lermanet.com/michaelpattinson, I wanted to address a simple letter of "Truth Revealed" to you here. After all, that is the very name of the OT8 level.
As I read the lists of many Scientology staff names and addresses so recently published on the world wide web (though I don't know how that came about) I was filled with compassion at the fact of your commitment and devotion to Scientology and its basic aims. I was also a proud trooper for decades and was utterly convinced that Scientology was really everything I read it was and heard it was. Peer agreement (group ARC) was also a strong re-enforcement of my convictions and my unrelenting in-KSW attitude that I applied very well despite it sometimes coming back at me with counter-emotions and counter-efforts.
Like you, I too have made things go right when things looked very bleak. I, too have spent a lot of money on services and donations that I really could not afford. I have done the "yo-yo" exercise and stood and applauded and cheered LRH's photo over and over again at events.
Like you I have also held back the tears of protest and dismay when "handlings" went wrong or were off-target and waited endless frustrating hours in waiting rooms for folders, C/s's and D of P interviews. I have, maybe like yourself, had serious doubts as to the unexplainable mysterious "outnesses" in the Scientology lines and terminals that seemed to be so quickly smothered, hurried away or blanket-defined as "entheta". I quietly "wondered" (but better not say anything) at seeing the sudden painful hostilities towards and upsetting disappearances of staff members, the sadness of the RPFers or the black hole money pit my money got sucked into so fast.
I have also had the personal wins from auditing, feelings of group ARC in the briefings and in courses in LRH tech, admin and ethics training, though in retrospect I could wish that they had been as permanent as my payments were to purchase them. I have also seen the F/ Ns and the VGIs from my pc's and (in cramming) auditors from applying tech. Without those wins along the way I would never have made it all way up the Bridge to New OT8, as you know. Going OT is an uphill battle all the way.
I have been in your position when my own ethics handlings went both well or badly, when conditions were applied both to eventual wins and to the strained "E.P" of satisfying the fixed ideas of tech or ethics terminals who were aiming at a specific result I had to attain. I have done conditions formulas till they were coming out of my ears, and tons and tons of other ethics, tech and admin applications. I personally knew the Flag Class 12 auditors from the Apollo as I trained with them at Flag, I have known the Int Execs since they were teenagers, I have personally known all LRH's children. I have known and frequented many of the Scientology celebrities too.
I WENT ALL THE WAY UP THE BRIDGE (there is no available level above New OT8).
What happened then is why I am writing this letter. I wish it was not necessary to write this but it is. I firmly believe that Truth is a friend to, and that lies are an enemy of survival. Yes, feel free to investigate what I write about here...
It is truly heartbreaking for me to have to inform you that you have been lied to, and not just in a small way. I am so, so sorry to have to tell you this, but please bear with me.
You have been lied to regarding the "Bridge to Total Freedom" as it does not arrive at Total Freedom. I know this because I have been there and experienced it. OT8 is NOT Total Freedom, yet there is no more Bridge to travel.
You may have wondered why OTs still behave in "strange" or weird ways and still exhibit aberrated behaviors. They are on the big secret missed withhold of not having received what LRH promised. Every non-OT "misses" the withhold.
You have been lied to about OT powers. I will not go into any case data or OT level data as it is not necessary, but I can tell you that the advertised and promised OT powers LRH writes about such as telekinesis (moving objects as a thetan), perfect total recall, "clear" of any and all aberrations, permanently Cause over Life, real- life Cause over MEST, etc are NOT in reality delivered by Scientology (in my direct experience and in that of many others).
You have been lied to about LRH's death, and the lies were criminally false. The "story" about LRH deciding to causatively but regrettably depart his body, go off to research further OT levels, etc. was very likely a pack of lies. The coroner's report found a psychiatric drug (Vistaril") in LRH's body after death as well as many needle marks. The surrounding circumstances of LRH's death such as a very unkempt body, changing his Will a day before he died, the hurried cremation, the refusal of autopsy, all make for a very suspicious situation. LRH had been hiding out at the Creston ranch under the false name "Jack Mitchell" so as not to be served with lawsuits, as those who knew have revealed.
You have been lied to about LRH's biography, and in many aspects of it, not just a few.
Though this may seem to be shocking enough or upsetting already there are many other big and awful lies you have been told and false data you have been fed. In fact enough false data to fill books which expose and clarify them. Such books as "A Piece of Blue Sky" by Jon Atack, Bare Faced Messiah by Bent Corydon and L. Ron Hubbard Jr., L. Ron Hubbard: Messiah or Madman?" are full of truths revealed and internal Scientology mysteries unfurled.
The internet is a source for you to explore the truths that hundreds of former Scientologists, some from Int Exec strata, have written and revealed.
Truth, being made of pure Life itself can never be "entheta". It is pure theta, even if shocking in its first impact; like the sunshine that dazzles the eyes of someone emerging from a deep and dark cavern, having followed a closely taped path to nowhere but blind obedience.
But why, you may ask, not let us down slowly? Well, we who "found out" were not let down slowly and we survived the truth and its powerful re- orientations. So can you.
I invite you to explore the internet and finding your own freeing truths. I ask that you open your eyes and see for yourself. I invite you to see both sides of the Scientology coin.
[edit by leavescientology: removed address due to reference to OT3 material in URL, if interested click here]
and other linked sites.
BEWARE of those who say "Do NOT look!" or try to label the truth or me, or other brave ex-members who have the integrity to seek out despite personal dangers as "entheta" or SP's. To my knowledge I have NOT been declared SP, and have even asked Scientology terminals if there was such a "declare" on several occasions to no avail, so I would welcome you to be in communication with me.
I am proud to have been a companion of many, many Scientologists along the way and I am equally proud of those who have had the guts to speak out publicly. I regret the lies we were told and the fraud that took advantage of our trusting good nature. I believe they must be fully exposed and dealt with appropriately.
In closing, I salute your positive goals, your will to survive, your bravery in facing new viewpoints and especially the divine spirit within you that is immortal, beautiful and full of the Light that shines as bright as the Sun. This inner Light is your real Source.
mpattinson AT gmail DOT com
Originally posted: 12 November 2005